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| Traditionally, I didn't really give up anything for Lent. I think one year I gave up AIM and another year I gave up soda products but other than that I've pretty much just went through Lent rather apathetically.
For some reason I decided that this year should be different. Perhaps it's the exploding economy and the thought that I should get on God's good side occurred more than once, maybe it's the fact that I seriously need some supernatural help pulling off a decent GPA this semester or maybe it's the fact that the Antichrist just bought America for more or less a trillion dollars after interest and I thought "ah screw it let's do this Lent thing". Or, perhaps, all/none of the above.
With that being said, I decided to give up swearing for Lent. I didn't know when I started slipping out F bombs, B bombs, S bombs, L bombs, Z bombs, Q bombs or atomic bombs, but it's become a bit of a problem for me. So yesterday, I got the ashes on my forehead and decided to go for it.
The following words are banned from being said out loud:
Fuck,
Shit,
Bitch,
Goddamn,
Jesus Christ.
I'm allowing "damn", "hell" and "ass" because if it shows up in the Bible, then it's fair game. Don't tell me I'm taking things out of context, your mom's out of context. [Except "Jesus Christ" because taking the Lord's name in vain is bad. Bad Isaac, bad.] And if I can only vent my frustration with 3rd grade vocabulary, I'm afraid my intelligence will drop. There are lots of things that warrant frustration.
So yeah, I've already broken it six times in the past two days and knowing well in advance that this would happen, I've decided to say an "Our Father" every time one slips out. Of course, some people would say that you can't make a holy prayer a punishment to which I say, yes, you can because I just did.
Honestly speaking though, I don't see any harm in saying a prayer every time I slip. It'll be a good way to remind myself every time I mess up that I still follow Christ, which I think is the idea behind repentance in both Catholic and Protestant teachings.
Hopefully as the season continues, I'll mess up less and less and eventually reach a point where swearing is no longer a problem for me. Although I can see myself going sailor-mode at 12AM after Easter. Whatever.
So yeah if you're going to be around me throughout Lent and you see me swear, feel free to let me know, and you'll have the privilege of hearing me say the Lord's Prayer in the middle of our conversation. | | |
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sry guys lol | | |
| And most of them attempt to do it by proving the theory of evolution. It's such a shame that someone so intelligent like Richard Dawkins would spend his whole life trying to uphold the theory of evolution when in reality
WHO THE EFF CARES
What has evolution done to improve living conditions? Can knowing what evolution is fix unemployment? The housing crisis?
"Great, I know that if you leave a lizard species alone long enough it'll turn into Niddhogg so I'm gonna use that knowledge to end global warming." Right.
Not that I care AT ALL about ANY of the issues listed above but I'm mostly pissed about the fact that people with the scientific knowledge of Richard Dawkins haven't put their brains to use in order to develop the following items:
1. Jet packs
2. Flying carpets
3. Flying cars
4. Those cool little things in Star Wars that you put in your mouth that lets you breathe underwater
5. An item that will lead to the extinction of static electricity on clothes
Because honestly, evolution isn't going to do CRAP to get that list of demands fulfilled. Come to think of it, evolution hasn't done much of anything at all.
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_BQhW4txyQI does not count. Maybe if that Mercedes turned into a flying car I'd actually consider that evolution but my goodness it's still a Mercedes no matter how many times you "evolve" it. A real way to have convinced me is by using that exact same method of "evolution" to make a Mercedes fly. After all, that's how dinosaurs became birds, right?)
So scientists, please stop wasting time trying to defend/prove/whatever evolution and DO YOUR JOBS. I understand a lot of responsibility might fall upon engineers, but you're ABSOLUTELY CRITICAL in making sure you explain to them how to create those items in a way that won't kill us, and #4 especially needs your handiwork.
We've been waiting for these items to be available to the general public at used on a massive scale ever since they were conceived by sci-fi writers (and bored housewives for #5). So it's been a very, VERY long time now.
Now, Richard Dawkins, if you're reading this then know, you are a skeleton of a man. An empty hollow shell of a human with only a lifetime of bigotry and condescension to show for it. A bitter, lonely, hateful and hated man with a sneering British accent and whose existence of a soul is as questionable as your doubt in the existence of God.
The remainder of your life is but a shred of what was once a glorious career to only a tiny minority while the rest of us knew you as that "asshole atheist guy". And still do.
BUT IT'S NOT TOO LATE TO DIE A COMPLETE DICK, DICK.
Sure, the likelihood you'll make it to heaven is EXTREMELY unlikely (not because of your horrible personality, but the fact that you've definitely blasphemed like, a million times) but at least the following generations won't remember you as a complete used wad of toilet paper IF you lead the team that fulfills this list.
Sure, you'll end up being wrong about both God and, most likely, about the "JuJu monster from the bottom of the sea"* (and out of spite, you'll be wrong about the Flying Spaghetti Monster too*), but if you lead this team of scientists (we'll just take those useless ones that only talk about evolution) I know that this list can be fulfilled before you die your miserable, horrific death.
You see, despite the fact that you have an awful excuse of a personality that takes pleasure in mocking college girls ("What if I'm wrong?!? Well...what if YOU'RE wrong?!? HA! STUPID!*) no one can deny the fact that you're pretty smart. And I don't really discriminate. I want someone smart leading the fulfillment of this list. If some dumbass were in charge of creating so many flying things, we'd have massive deaths and casualties. Jet packs aren't safe, you know.
...Unless YOU make them safe.
* You know those little asterisks that randomly popped up? Yeah, here's my reference: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6mmskXXetcg | | |
| You would think having a three day weekend would be the most awesome thing EVER but honestly it's not that great.
It's pretty depressing, actually. I feel like I'm getting nothing done and that I'm wasting away half of my week bumming around. I could do work and stuff, but then there'd be no point doing work on Friday if I don't have class again until Tuesday. Plus who does work on Fridays?
My earliest class is 9:55, and that's only Tuesdays and Thursdays. My Mondays and Wednesdays don't start until 1:20PM. Damn I live a lazy life hahaha.
In other news, someone stole my jacket at this place downtown. It was a dark place, so I would go back to the coat hanging section like every half hour or so to check on it, and the third time I checked on it, it was gone.
!!!!
Who steals jackets?!? Who would do that?!? First my license, now my jacket. Next I'm gonna lose a FREAKING birth certificate or something. ADAKLSFGJA.
Heads will roll. Someone's going to pay. | | |
| I like to live by simple, meaningful quotes and I like to think that these little quotes help me explain different situations, while guiding me in moments where discernment is needed. One of these little quotes that I came up with for myself is,
"If a retard throws pebbles at cubs long enough, eventually the mother bear will maul and eat that retarded guy throwing pebbles and feed the remains to her cubs."
I think that's very simple and understandable, and I'm sure there's different variations of that quote all over the world.
So I wonder, why is it that the Palestinians and the international community- especially the Arab world- act so shocked when Israel retaliates? It's like that retard's retarded friends being surprised that- God forbid- the mother bear gets pissed off that you're throwing pebbles at her cubs.
Except, in this case, instead of pebbles... it's rockets. Instead of cubs, it's innocent civilians and instead of mother bears, it's the IDF. It's still the retard, though the retard goes by the name "Hamas".
The newest Time Magazine headline reads "Why Israel Can't Win".
And they're right- Israel's most likely not going to win much.
Sure, Hamas will be pacified temporarily, but until the basic fundamental goal of exterminating the state of Israel is wiped out, until the notion of Arab superiority and a disdain for progressive thinking that has led to a genocide in Sudan, suppression of women's rights and persecution of Christians and other minorities is reversed, and until Hamas learns to not be that stupid, retarded guy throwing rocks at cubs--- Israel will always be under attack.
And also, in case there's anyone in the Gaza Strip that got internet access and is able to read (this post), can I just say:
STOP FREAKING VOTING IN TERRORISTS.
From Arafat to Hamas, way to show the world you're ready to run your own country and that you're making an intentional move towards peace. By voting in terrorists. I'm not saying it's all of you- please, I wouldn't DARE be politically incorrect- but it's clearly the majority of AT LEAST the electorate.
More thoughts later. Dinner awaits. | | |
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